There’s Plenty of Crimson in Cloverfield

So, last night me and four of my buddies went down to the local googolplex to see just how far out of whack the bang-to-hype ratio for Cloverfield really is. According to the impromptu exit poll I conducted within my own personal focus group upon exiting the theater, I ended up being the only one among us who deemed it worthy of all the pre-release buzz. Never before have I so closely identified with that dentist who refused to recommend Trident gum to his patients.

I think what really bugs me the most about their quadruple thumbs-down is it was based almost completely upon their trumped-up claims of motion sickness resulting from the frenetic hand-held filming. They all cried “Blair Witch” ripoff, which I immediately shot down by virtue of the fact that unlike TBWP, Cloverfield actually DOES have a payoff at the end – and frequently throughout.

And though it will undoubtedly sound perverse, getting to watch vapid overpriviledged twentysomethings flee for their self-important lives added an extra element of thrill to the proceedings for me. This is one of the few times I’ve ever openly rooted for the monster/alien/creature, and I must admit doing so made for a much more liberating filmgoing experience than I’ve enjoyed in quite some time.

The only way this movie could have been better is if it had been an actual documentary starring the Hiltons, Kardashians and Olsens.

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One Response to “There’s Plenty of Crimson in Cloverfield”

  1. Worst movie ever, I threw up my Moons Over My Hammy when I got home…

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